Toronto

I recently visited my late friend Cindy's family in her hometown near Toronto. I've been wanting to visit them, see where she spent her childhood since I lost her (and even before). So when a dance friend from that area told me she was hosting a 5Rhythms workshop on Light and Shadow, it was too poetic to pass up. I often felt like Shadow to Cindy's Light, often teased her that she uses her powers for Good not Evil. I planned this trip when I was in a good frame of mind, and by the time it came to leaving, a shadow was upon me and I didn't want to go.
Self-doubt had crept its way in, I wasn't sure if I would bring up the grief her loved ones had tried to get through.Two weeks before  I left, I dreamt I was asking her if I should go. She reassured me and simply said, "give them my love."
My time with her family was full of tears and laughter and I had an overwhelming feeling of her presence, of being healed and nurtured. I was humbled by the generous hospitality and openness with which I was met. That same spirit that nurtured a friendship so long ago.
While dancing with 100+ dancers and a teacher who has had her share of loss, I was able to identify the current shadow in which I find myself, inertia. Everything feels heavy, full of effort. It's not an energy I'm comfortable with, so getting in touch with it brought some relief.
While in the city, I was fortunate enough to be welcomed into another friend's parents' home. They live on Ward's Island in an art-filled, soul-feeding oasis. They are movers and shakers in their community and told me of the way they use theatre to open people up to new ideas and more responsible living. I came home so inspired, I registered for a carpool on http://www.octa.net and applied to a local college to take a creative writing class. Could I write a play that would honor the impact of Cindy in my life?
The heaviness is starting to lift, another cycle shifting its way in. I'm grateful for the flow.